Dating with children

     See this is a very touchy topic and there are a lot of different ways I could approach this. See when you’re a single parent it is very difficult to know when it’s the right time to begin dating again, you think to yourself just because you feel ready doesn’t mean your kid(s) are. It is only instinct to want to do what is best for our child(ren) over our selves, but who pays for that decision better yet is it a decision your making for yourself or a sacrifice you make for your child(ren)? Then if you do decide to start dating there is so many more questions you have to ask yourselves about the person you’re interested in, are they good with kids, will they accept them better yet will their families accept them, are they responsible enough to be around my kid(s)? It’s a completely different dating world out there when you have children, see when you first get the feeling that you’re ready to start dating again some of you might ask yourself “who wants to be with a single parent, who wants that baggage”? I know baggage isn’t a pretty way of putting it but if you think about it that is exactly what it is to some people out there, and if they look at it that way then they are not the right one for you. They have to understand that to you your children are your life they are the reason you go on day to day wanting to be a better person and provide a better life. Then there is the question do you only date other people with children because you think they will better understand where you’re coming from however; on the other hand is it possible that in today’s day and age is it possible that there are people out there that do not have kid(s) that are just as compatible as those with kid(s)? Do you think if you date someone with children that they will be in their parenting pattern and that they might try to push that on the way you raise your child(ren)? These are all questions that come up when a single parent starts dating.

     See there are a few different ways you can start dating you can either keep it a secret and wait and see how things go, or you can introduce them to your child(ren) and see how they react to him/her; for example if they have kids maybe a play date at a popular place kids love that would be a good way to introduce a possible relationship. If your dating someone without a child then taking them somewhere like a children’s museum or the zoo would be a great way to see how they interact with kids. See the only thing with the whole waiting game thing is we never know how long things will last, you can hope and think things are going to last forever but that’s not always the case and 1 year or even 15 years down the road the next thing you know BAM it’s over nothing is guaranteed. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying to introduce them on the first or second date but sooner than later and not as your bf or gf just say this is mommy or daddy’s friend so and so, they won’t know any better and you will have been able to gage your kid’s reaction to them. Children are great judges of character kind of like animals although if your child(ren) is shy by nature this may not work for you. There is also the fear of well what if it doesn’t work out and then my child(ren) is going to be disappointed and hurt, this is a valid fear or at least it should be but like I said earlier nothing is guaranteed and no one knows the future. Those are circumstances a child will deal with on more than one occasion with people coming and going out of their lives not just when you’re dating. Children are very adaptable and are very intelligent at young ages whether we realize it or not, they know when you’re not happy just like they know when you are and trust me on this a happy parent makes a happy child I believe this statement firmly. I could go on and on about this topic but I think I made my point with what I’ve said.

I would really like to hear what all of you have to say about this topic, it is a very broad topic and I may have missed something so please share.